The Dreaded "C" Word

I am blessed to have a large family and a bunch of friends. It has been a little difficult finding a way to speak to everyone about what I am dealing with as I begin to get treatment for pancreatic cancer. So, one goal I have with this blog is to share my story with you. Thanks for checking up with me, and for praying with me through this.

A couple years ago, our extended family started planning to go on a cruise in celebration of my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. The time has finally arrived, and we are scheduled to depart in just a few days. I am really excited for our family, and I'm thankful that my entire extended family will be on this cruise to celebrate.

Now, I am a lot like my dad when it comes to traveling; I like to make sure I have all my bases covered before I leave. Since I had never been on a cruise before I started surfing the web and researching all that we would need for a week of successful cruising.  So naturally I went ahead and ordered a couple things from Amazon to arrive by Thursday before we pulled out on Sunday. Jennifer and I started the packing process by laying out different piles of clothes for each member of the family. Things were coming together, and 2 years of planning was about to result in a much needed week of family fun.

I had a pretty normal week at work other than the scramble of trying to get everything done before leaving town. I have never understood that why it is that when you go on vacation you have to work twice as hard before you can leave, and then have to work even harder to catch up when you return! But, the weekend was almost here, and I was looking forward to a week without phone calls or emails!

That didn't mean that everything was the way it was supposed to be for me. I had been struggling with some stomach issues for a couple of weeks prior, which I was certain were related in some way to a medication that I use for back pain. I started taking this medication a couple months ago, right after I returned from a mission trip to Amsterdam. My back has given me trouble for a couple of years, and I figure the travel and tight seats on the plane didn't help it much.

A few days after being home, I noticed the shooting pain down my right leg. It felt the same as when I was diagnosed with a bulging disc in 2013. I still had an active prescription for Etodolac, but one of the possible side effects is that it messes up your stomach. So, I thought this had to be the cause of my stomach pain. I decided it would be best to wean myself off of it, and try to stop taking the medication altogether.

The pain actually intensified after stopping.  I started to think that maybe the medicine was actually masking the real cause of my pain. Maybe it wasn't my back after all. On Wednesday night I spent the whole night in a lot of pain and I didn't sleep much; it felt like I didn't sleep at all. I had never had a feeling like this before. The pain was radiating around my the upper part of my stomach toward my left side near my rib cage.  I couldn't get comfortable, and nothing I did seemed to ease the pain. I spent most of that Wednesday night pacing the floor, walking from my bedroom to the bathroom, trying my best not to wake anyone up. At some point in the night I was able to feel comfortable enough to lay down and get a little sleep.

That next morning Jennifer and I decided to wage war on my stomach issues. We started a regiment of Miralax in the morning and Milk of Magnesia prior to bedtime. I also tried to eat very bland items, and introduced myself to kombucha to try and help get some natural probiotics into my gut. I also called my physician and was able to get an appointment for Friday. It was Thursday, but I was certain I could make it one more day. But, later that night I wasn't so sure. My pain was back and it seemed to be worse than before. Once again, I spent most of the night pacing until I finally felt like I could lay down and sleep.

The nights are long when you don't sleep much. Friday morning finally arrived and I headed out for my doctor appointment. He confirmed that my "gut" was most likely the issue. He encouraged me to keep up the regiment I had started for constipation. I listened, but the pain continued. Friday night was the same as the other nights before. Little sleep and lots of pain.

Saturday, I did get a little relief from the pain that afternoon. I was hopeful that this was over, and I could focus on the cruise. We continued packing and preparing for the trip, but that evening the pain returned, and this time it was the worst that I had experienced. Everybody was excited to leave in the morning on the cruise, but I was in excruciating pain. We put the kids to bed, and had told them that we had to leave early in the morning for Miami, which was our port of departure.

As soon as they kids went down, I decided to drive myself to the emergency room. At this point I thought that I was probably suffering from an ulcer. I knew that if I was going to spend a week on a boat in the middle of the Caribbean, then I was going to need some effective pain medicine. I encouraged Jennifer to stay home with the kids and promised that I would call if I needed her.

On the way to the ER it seemed as if the pain started to ease off some. I had called my doctor to let them know about the increase of my pain and they went ahead and called ahead to the ER. Once I arrived I thought I would simply get in and get out quickly, with some good pain pills to help me. I just knew I would be home in time to get a few of sleep before heading out to Miami.

I walked in and waited maybe 10 minutes before the triage nurse called me back. She asked what my pain level was on a scale of 1 to 10. I didn't want to lie, but I also wanted to get back and be seen as quickly as possible. But, my pain had subsided a little on the ride to the hospital. So, I told the nurse that I would rank my pain between a 6 and a 7. She took my vitals then sent me out to the waiting room to wait to be seen.

It didn't take long for my pain to increase to level 10. Once again, I found that I couldn't get comfortable. I started pacing around, biting my tongue, trying not to make a fool of myself. It seemed like forever, but I was finally called back to a treatment room. An ER doctor came in, and he mentioned the possibility of diverticulitis. This was good news! Some medicine, maybe a diet change, and I would be all set. He ordered some pain medicine along with a CT Scan to confirm his suspicions.

I texted Jennifer and let her know of this possible diagnosis. Since I most likely needed some stronger medicine, and I wouldn't be allowed to drive home, I asked her to join me at the hospital. Our friend Tiffany came to stay with the kiddos and Jennifer headed my way. Now I only had to wait on the doctor to release me so I could get on that boat.

About an hour later the doctor returned to share the results of my scan. To my surprise, he ruled out diverticulitis. Well, maybe it is an ulcer after all. But then came the words that I wasn't prepared for or expecting: the scan showed a large mass on my pancreas.

My mind went so many places in seconds of time. How could this be?  I'm healthy and 42 years old!  He mentioned possibilities of cyst or scar tissue, but there was only one option going through my mind: the dreaded "C" word. He stated the mass was large enough that is was causing splenic thrombosis, which means that the mass was pinching off blood flow to the spleen. That was the source of my pain.

I was a little numb at that point to what was going on around me. The doctor stated that he would be admitting me to the hospital and that I would be placed in Room 222. In a few minutes, Dr. Stacy Haponick walked into my ER room and began to discuss the results of my scan in more detail. Jennifer finally arrived, and the shock of this news lead to many tears and a lot of confusion. We really didn't know what to do next, but it was becoming clear to us that our next journey wasn't going to be on a cruise ship. Instead of waking up on Sunday morning, throwing bags in the van, and getting three excited kids settled in for a long drive, I was going to wake up in a hospital room.

The next couple of hours were absolutely crazy. I went ahead and notified my parents who were already in route to FL. They had left a day early as they planned to stop in Beaufort, SC, where they have a place near Hunting Island, SC. My mom started talking about canceling the cruise, but I told her that under no circumstances would they would cancel this trip. There was still much to be determined about my condition. There were a lot of unanswered questions, and a lot of unknowns.

We were finally moved to our hospital room and we spent much of the night in prayer and tears. It was hard to sleep that night, hard to keep my mind from churning. The next morning we both arose very early and started to discuss what we should do concerning the cruise. There was no way that I could go, and Jennifer was going to stay with me. But what about our kids? We were able to reach out to our travel agent who assured us that they could still go provided that an adult family member stayed in their room, the room Jennifer and I were supposed to be in. We only needed to sign over health care responsibilities to one of our family members, and the kids were good to go on the cruise.

It was Sunday morning. Usually I would have been on my way to church to oversee the soundboard and technical needs for the worship service. Not this Sunday morning. Jennifer ran home to help get the kids situated and repacked. My amazing family gladly saw to it that they could go and enjoy the cruise. I am not sure how my sister Marie and her husband Todd fit their family of 5 and my 3 kids in their van with all their luggage, but it worked and they started the trek to Miami.

I was really happy that Reese, Ella and Claire were going to be able to enjoy the cruise. We had been careful not to give too many details about my condition, especially since we were still unsure as to exactly what was going on with me. All they knew is that daddy was sick in his belly and couldn't go on the boat, just in case he got sicker. In my mind I kept thinking, "Wow, our kids are going on their first cruise, which was supposed to be our first cruise, and I am in the hospital with a tumor on my pancreas."

To be continued in Part 2...

...a little while

Welcome to my blog! If you know me very well, then you know the last thing I would ever do is host a blog. I don't really read blogs, and I'm not much of a writer. But I have decided to step into the blog-o-sphere for a couple of reasons.

First, I want to use this blog to keep my friends and family updated on my recent health challenge. On Saturday, November 18, my wife and I were packing for a family cruise in the Caribbean to celebrate my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. Our kids were so excited, and we were looking forward to our entire family being together.

The day before I went to my doctor because I had been having some pretty severe abdominal pain. My thought was that my digestive system just wasn't working right, and my doctor agreed. But by Saturday night my pain was so severe that I drove myself to the emergency room. I was hoping that they could figure something out, give me so pain medicine, and send me home to finish packing for my trip. But, within a few hours I was told that my pain was caused by a large tumor on my pancreas.

So, that is what I am fighting: a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. Most likely you are reading this blog because we know each other in some way--a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or just someone who heard about what I was dealing with. I felt like this blog might be one of the best ways to keep everyone informed, so let me welcome you and I hope we can interact some in this journey.

Second, I want to use this blog to have an outlet for my thoughts as I walk through this. I have already written a lot of stuff down: medical information, timelines, treatment schedules, etc. I need a place to drop a lot of ideas and information, and this blog allows me to do that. My wife Jennifer will most likely add a post every now and again, and maybe a friend here and there.

I also want to share how my faith in Christ, my family, and my faith family are encouraging me along the way. In fact, the title of this blog is a verse that I am dwelling on as I prepare to step into this fight. I am trusting the Lord to heal me, and I am thankful for so many friends who are joining my family in prayer for this as well.

So, even though I am not sure how committed I will be to use this blog for these purposes, these are the reasons why you are reading my very first blog post. Thanks for reading and for walking with me.